a frustration.

if you are already a pretty savvy photographer, you probably vividly remember what it's like to learn exposure and all the practice it takes to get it right. i am still trying to get it right. i made myself a promise not to ever shoot in auto again. i had to go manual and stay in manual. so far it's been an semi-easy task. i can usually set the exposure, snap a few, and go on about my business. that was not the case this past friday. i was so excited to go along with emma on her field trip to the new mississippi children's museum until i tried to take pictures.


i immediately started to get hot and could feel the anxiety rise from my toes to the top of my head. the lighting changed with every step i would take. to top it off, these kids would not stay in one place for longer than .00053 seconds. i was missing practically every shot i tried to get. when i would get the exposure nailed the gals would move. i would set it again and they would move again. i was having a panic attack at this point. for me, when this happens, it proves that I'm not good enough to be a photographer.


after an inner freak-out, i told my self to calm the heck down. what would these pictures be used for? they would be my reminder of this wonderful day with emma. they would not be on a gallery wall...maybe just my facebook wall. with all that in mind i turned my little dial to P and shot without regret for the rest of our time at the museum. i decided to let the camera figure out the lighting so i could sit back and enjoy my time with emma.

later that evening, i still felt like i had lost all that learnin' i thought i had. my bag sat on the counter and i just knew the camera inside was mocking me.


emma had a friend over and tim decided we should build a little fire outside. it ended up being perfect because hot dogs were on the menu. we let them roast hot dogs and make s'mores. my mood had lifted and i decided to pull out my camera. i put it back in manual.